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Caught A Lite Sneeze

Diary of a MAD woman

January 11th, 2007

Let's talk about sex @ 10:20 pm

Current Mood: shocked shocked

This seems to be the week for everyone to ask me strange questions about my sex life.

First dad met some of my friends and whispered to me,

"Which one are you sleeping with?"


My new girl wants to know if I will allow her to record my voice for phone sex so she can play it when I'm sleep. (ah..NO!)


Today one of my students asked me if I have sex.

People go have your own sex and leave mine alone!

January 4th, 2007

Sometimes I think I should have been born a man! @ 09:18 am

Current Mood: cranky cranky

Now I understand when dudes say women talk too much.
I totally get it!
I wanna say "Shut up woman"
"Just "SHUT UP!"
Do we have to talk about everything?
Why can't we just eat dinner, f*ck and go to bed?
Is that sh*t SOOOOO hard?

Nooooo! That's not good enough. She wants me to say how I feel, but ONLY if I feel like saying how I feel. Only if it comes from the heart, but she would really like me to say something nice from the heart...but only if I feel like saying something nice...


This is from the heart, "SHUT UP!"

December 27th, 2006

Be careful what you ask for... @ 11:09 pm

Current Mood: sad sad

In most cases I'm good at requesting (some would say demanding) what I want.
So I asked for something from her. Being the person that she is she gave it to me.
Now I realize I don't want it.
oops! I got confused.
Now what?
Change the rules in the middle of the game?
That makes things terribly awkward and then what does it mean if such a large element of us is not permitted because I suddenly grew a conscience?
I gotta sort this out.

August 21st, 2006

I don't even LIKE eggs @ 10:25 pm

Current Mood: amused amused

So I learned a new trick from my best friend:
Act dumb around parents and they will do everything for you. It worked the 1st day..mom and dad made my whole breakfast! They even packed it in a little box for me to take to work. SWEET!

But I guess I missed some rules of the trick because now they wouldn't even let me boil an egg. I had to get a lecture for my dad about how long the egg should boil followed by a lecture from my mom about how much water to put in the pot.

My Mother: "You need to cover the egg with water to boil it"

My Father: "It's done you've let it boil too long." See if it spins on it's tip it's done"

My Mother: "Can you believe she can't boil an egg?"

My Father: "You wasting water only boiling 1 egg"

My Mother: " How do you normally eat?"

That's what I get for playin' dumb...can't be trusted to boil my own egg!

August 14th, 2006

haha! @ 11:30 pm

Current Mood: ecstatic ecstatic

Great news for today:

I started my fantasy football team today! YES!


I'm gonna graduate next semester! haha! go me!

August 7th, 2006

It seemed like a good idea at the time @ 03:07 am

Current Mood: awake

ok, ok, so Nyquil needs a chaser.

It's so baaaad!

I tried soy chocolate milk..thick and chocolate tasting...thought it would be like a cherry chocolate delite or something..riiiight

Not bad tasting..but damn my stomach hurts now.

It seemed like a good idea at the time....

June 12th, 2006

but I had fun @ 11:25 am

Current Mood: dorky dorky

Went to my first card party!(it wasn't mine)

I've been wanting to organize a weekly poker party forever!!
I've just had a few fatal obstacles:
I don't know how to play poker
I don't have a group of friends to invite.
Well, a girl can always dream.

May 24th, 2006

EWWW @ 08:53 pm

Current Mood: chipper chipper

My hair smells like an ashtray
and I stayed out too late to get up and take that test...oops!
I had fun!

May 18th, 2006

And she says... @ 12:08 pm

Current Mood: contemplative contemplative

She continues to remind me of that old saying
"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free"

But does the person taking the free milk have some kind of moral obligation to pay? or even offer to pay?

Isn't that somehow bad karma?

May 17th, 2006

T Mobile @ 06:36 pm

Current Mood: anxious anxious

Can I just say I'm tired of waiting until 9pm to talk..I mean really. If I go over in minutes she'll chop me into little pieces and use them to fertilize the football field. Guess I'll go watch t.v.

Caught A Lite Sneeze

Diary of a MAD woman